1st Dentist Appointment

Abby had her very first appointment with the dentist this week. I know, I know, I put it off longer than I should have. Her pediatrician recommended her first visit to be right when she turned 3 and I am just lucky I got it in before she turned 4. Why must I put these things off? Well, I expected it to go much differently than it did, and perhaps 6 months ago it would have gone that way. However, my little sweet pea did AWESOME!!! No crying! No complaining! Did exactly what she was asked to do through the entire visit! Even the dentist made a comment about what an amazing patient she was. So proud! Oh yeah, and NO CAVITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting those cute little teeth nice and clean!! Brought along her beloved blankies and kitty
All done!

Daddy's Birthday!

Marc celebrated his 39th birthday on the 14th! Next year comes the big 4-0! Such a lucky guy to look about 10 years younger than he really is. Abby and I made had fun making him a birthday cake as usual.

Blowing out the candle!Enjoying some of our hard work (none for mommy though - darn gestational diabetes!) Chocolate face!

Matthew's Room

We FINALLY finished Matthew's room! Wowsa, was it a lot of work!! Thank goodness I am pretty happy with how it turned out. Marc stained and hung hooks on this unfinished shelf I found on clearance at JoAnn's. We painted 2x2 blocks and then glued wood letters on them to make his name blocks. Then we hung the blocks from the hooks with ribbon.Stenciling.....Ahhhhhh! If I never see another stencil in my life it will be way too soon! After stenciling flowers above the chair rail in Abby's room , I swore I would never do it again. Well, I did, and I hated it even more this time around. Not sure if you have ever stenciled, but it is not like you can just run a roller over the stencil. Your brush has to be very dry and you literally have to tap the paint on to the wall so it doesn't bleed under the stencil. Each circle required about 5-10 coats of paint. I thought I would never finish! I think my total time spent stenciling was about 16 hours. Marc's biggest project for the room was this dresser I found on Craigslist for $40.00. It was a hideous beast, but I knew it had potential. Marc spent countless hours in the garage sanding all the nasty forest green paint off it and then staining it to match the crib. We finished it off with some pretty new knobs and then Marc stained the chair rail to match the crib and dresser.Here is the before picture of the hideous beast....ICK!! The sides were the most work because they were painted completely green. Lots and lots of sanding to get it all off.Although not ideal space wise, I really wanted to keep a full size bed in the room since this room used to be our guest room. Not sure how many guests will ever get to use it, but I am sure I will get a lot of use out of it until Matthew is sleeping through the night so I don't disturb Marc when he has to get up for work.These squares were originally intended to be hung as a headboard for the bed but I decided I liked the idea of using them for the whole wall instead. I took 12x12 Styrofoam squares and then covered them in this super cute dot material.
I had this comfy recliner in Abby's room for the last 3 1/2 years and it has been amazing. It was so nice for the countless hours I spent nursing her as a baby and then to read books in every night before bed ever since. She has grown quite attached to the chair and shed some tears when I told her I needed it in Matthew's room. It took some serious bribing to get the chair out of her room and she still keeps asking for it back, but I am hoping with time she will stop missing it so much :(.I love, love, love the words we put on the wall!And to finish the room off, we did a wall of stripes just like Abby's room.

35 Weeks

Oh my....only 26 days to go before I meet my sweet little miracle boy. I have such mixed emotions.

A big part of me wants him out ASAP so I can hold him in my arms and know he is okay. For some reason that feeling of anxiety I felt during the first 20 weeks about losing him has reared its ugly head again. Maybe just because I am so close to getting what I prayed so hard for? Not sure I will ever really get over the loss of two sweet babies. I also am really starting to feel the physical toll of pregnancy. My back and hips are ready to be done carrying the extra weight and the pressure "down below" is well, INTENSE! His head is already very low and wow can I tell! Standing isn't exactly comfortable anymore. My favorite place to be? The pool! Now I see why women want water births! It is amazing how much pressure is relieved in the water. The lovely 1st trimester heartburn and nausea has also reared its ugly head again (bad but still not nearly the to the degree of what I experienced for the first 18 weeks). I also cannot wait to ditch this horrible diet I follow because of the gestational diabetes! I just want some carbs and sugar people!!!

Another part of me wishes that time would slow down its crazy passing. Knowing this will be the absolute last time I am pregnant really makes me cherish every hiccup (which the poor little guys gets about 7 times a day) and kick. It is so amazing to me that we can grow little humans inside us. I feel so blessed to have been given this gift from God that I prayed so hard for. I am so incredibly grateful that I was chosen to be Matthew's mommy. I have also started to feel that twinge of guilt already about how much Abby's life is about to change. She definitely knows she is getting a baby brother, but she has no concept of what that means for Mommy's time and attention. The other day she got very sad and told me she likes Matthew's room better than her room and I almost cried. I know these are all very real and normal emotions that all big brothers and sisters go through so I just keep reminding myself that I am giving her a friend for life, even though she may not understand that for many many years. I suppose I just have to do the best that I can to keep her involved in everything I have to do for Matthew. I know she is going to be a great big sister and will love helping take care of him.

Winnie the Pooh!

A couple weeks ago we took Abby to see her first movie in a theater. I picked Winnie the Pooh because I thought it was a safe bet to not have a villain or anything else scary in it. She has always been a super scardy cat and does not like any of the Disney movies because they all have something scary ! Welllllllll....they managed to put something scary in Winnie the Pooh! Can you believe it!? Grrrrrr! Owl invents a creature called a "backson" and they spend the majority of the movie talking about the scary "backson" and how to catch it. She asked to leave the movie a couple times, but managed to be a trooper on Mommy's lap and made it though the whole thing. However, now she says she never wants to go to a movie theater again. Oh well...I still greatly enjoyed her first movie going experience! (and dinner at Johnny Rockets afterward)

Gift from God

Grandpa and Grandma's Visit

Marc's parents were recently here for a visit from Minnesota. They usually make it here twice a year. This trip was filled with lots of fun for Abby! She got to do lots of fun things with them including swimming every day (sometimes twice a day), a trip to the Children's Museum, and a Lowe's kids workshop with Daddy and Grandpa! I think she really enjoyed having constant entertainment from either Grandma or Grandpa for 10 days! ( And I am not gonna lie, I also greatly enjoyed her having constant entertainment. haha!)

Here's the gang on one of the many days they spent at the pool!

Abby LOVED listening to Grandpa read to her!

As is becoming tradition, Marc put his poor dad to work while they were visiting. They painted Matthew's room, put up the chair rail, and put together the crib! A huge shout out to Marc Sr. for all his help in that room while he was here on "vacation"!

Such a great picture of Abby and her "Munga and Parkie"

32 Weeks

32 weeks today!!! Only 7 weeks to go and I feel crazy stressed that it is not nearly enough time to get stuff done. The nursery is coming along nicely, but I still have 4 projects to get done. One of those projects is stenciling and that, unfortunately, happens to be very time consuming. Yes, I know what you are thinking....this is my second baby and I should know better now than to think the nursery HAS to be completely done before the baby comes. Well, there are two reasons why it does need to be. #1) The one project I left unfinished before Abby was born, still sits in her room unfinished. #2) It will DRIVE ME NUTS if its not done :).
Next week life gets even crazier as I start going in to have the baby monitored twice a week. When you have gestational diabetes they watch the baby very closely. Part of this is twice weekly Non-Stress Tests and once weekly Biophysical Profiles. For the Non-Stress Test they will hook me up to a fetal monitor for a half hour and monitor his heart rate (which should accelerate during movement) and monitor any contractions. The Biophysical profile is essentially a high tech timed ultra sound where they check for five signs that the baby is thriving. It checks heart rate, breathing rate, muscle tone, movement, and the amount of amniotic fluid. So what that means for me is a lot of time in doctor's offices and a lot of driving time. And of course I will still have my normal OB appointments to go to which are every two weeks for the next 4 weeks and then every week after that.
Oh Boy! So much to do and so little time to do it in! Although if I didn't have a cute little 3 year old on my heels all day and I could actually find a nice burst of energy it would be a piece of cake!

30 Weeks

Only 8 weeks to go from tomorrow! ( I am a little late posting this and will be 31 weeks tomorrow). Getting closer and closer to being cut open on that table. Yikes. I have never had a major surgery so I really have no idea what to expect. Hopefully the excitement of meeting my little boy will calm my nerves a little.

I am really starting to feel very pregnant now. I feel very large and heavy and some unknown force has magically sucked every ounce of energy right out of my body. Crazy to have such a desire to nest, nest, nest and not be able to convince my body to keep up with my mind! All in all I can't complain though. I just feel so blessed to have this little miracle in my belly regardless of the toll on my body. I seriously LOVE every minute of it and every little kick and punch. This little boy is so much more active than Abby was and I love it!

The gestational diabetes is still a huge battle. I am having so much more trouble controlling it this time around. I can eat something one day and my blood sugar is fine and then I will eat it again the next day at the exact same time and it will be super high! So frustrating for me because every time I get a high reading I just think of that sugar coursing through my baby's body. Grrrrrr! Very little carbs and NO sugar and I am still having issues. Seems there is very little I can get away with eating. I think if I ate all protein and zero carbs it might be better, but not sure I could stomach it and pretty sure I would start to lose weight. Still haven't gained a pound since 20 weeks. I need to gain a least another 4 lbs to get my total weight gain to 20 lbs, but it seems Matthew is growing just fine because my belly sure is :).

On the bright side, this last week has been sooooo exciting for me. I was so blessed to have amazing friends who threw a baby shower in celebration of my sweet boy. I am so thankful for the family and friends who were able to attend. (I will post more about this day and pictures soon). The other super exciting part of my week? Matthew's room was painted and the crib put together! It looks super cute and I will post more when it is complete!

25 Weeks

Time is really starting to pass more quickly now. I am so close to the third trimester already. Things got very real yesterday when my OB said it was time to schedule my c-section. I will be having a c-section to avoid another broken tailbone. The big day is scheduled for 9/9/11 at 1:30pm. Funny that I wasn't nervous about a c-section, but now that it is scheduled I am a wee bit freaked out. I'm not gonna lie, it makes me a little nauseous to think about it.

In other news, I am battling the the dreaded gestational diabetes again. So frustrating. I knew my chances of avoiding it were slim since my risk was highly increased after having it with Abby. I was holding out hope though. So what does it mean for me? It means that I don't get to eat anything fun. I have to eat a very high protein, low carb, NO sugar diet of very small meals in order to keep my blood sugar on target. I have been following this diet for 4 weeks now and I pretty much want to barf just looking at an egg, which happens to be about my only choice for breakfast. It also makes it difficult to gain wait because it is hard to get enough calories every day. Haven't gained even a pound in the last 4 weeks. I think the Dr. is happy as long as I gain another 5 lbs or so before the end of the pregnancy.

BUT....In a nutshell, challenges of this pregnancy and all, IT IS ALL SOOOOO WORTH IT!!!! I get to meet my little man in 14 weeks or less!

No Regrets

I ran across this the other day and it really tugged at my heart. One of my biggest fears is that my children will be all grown up and I will look back with some type, really any type of small regret. I am really striving to enjoy all the little moments that happen every single day.


"If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self esteem first and the house later
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less
I'd do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging"




I just love this little girl and all the joy she brings to life!

Half Way to My MIRACLE

The last 20 weeks have been the longest and most uncertain of my life. So, where do I start? I suppose from the beginning...

After losing two precious babies, we were at a loss. Not sure what to do next or if there even was a next, I felt like I really might not ever get my miracle. Not only were the miscarriages extremely hard emotionally, pregnancy in itself is not easy for me. I feel sick 24/7 during the first trimester and to go through that again for it only to end in heartbreak was starting to become unimaginable.

I felt like I had to give it one more try though. Knowing this really would be our last attempt, I reached out to friends for support. Then I met the first step in getting my miracle; a new friend who had a daughter close to Abby's age and then went through two miscarriages before getting her little miracle in her son. She suggested I go and talk to a specialist she had seen for help, a reproductive endocrinologist who is willing to think outside the box and actually do something to try to keep pregnancies going instead of standing by while your baby dies inside you and then think it is a comfort to hear "it could just be a fluke or we may never know why this is happening."

Enter step #2 in getting my miracle, Dr. Couvaras. This Dr. believes that even women without a specific clotting disorder, may be helped by low dose heparin. Essentially, in easy to understand terms, he believes that some people's blood may be too "thick" to get enough to the growing fetus. To me this made perfect sense after my second miscarriage, where for the entire 9 weeks the baby seemed to be struggling and was a week behind where it should have been. He was very involved in every step of this pregnancy from ovulation through the end of the first trimester.

I took a trigger shot before we conceived to make sure the egg was mature and released properly. Everything went along according to plan. As with all our pregnancies, we were extremely blessed and conceived on the first try again. I immediately began giving myself injections of heparin in my stomach twice a day and giving blood weekly so that my heparin could be adjusted properly. I saw the Dr. every two weeks and then was released to a regular OB.

I had made it though the first trimester! In my first appointment with my OB, she said that my chances of miscarriage had now dropped to less than 2%. This should have given me some relief, yet somehow I felt none. I still wore waterproof makeup to all my appointments and just couldn't seem to find that peace that I was looking for. I reluctantly started telling family and friends the news, only because I couldn't hide my belly anymore. Every wait between appointments seemed to be an eternity as I feared the silence I might hear instead of a heartbeat. Both my miscarriages were what they call "missed miscarriage", meaning that there were no signs that the baby was in distress such as bleeding and cramping. My body never let go of either and both had to be removed via D&C.

At 12 weeks I had some bleeding and of course panicked. There wasn't much to it and it didn't last long, but of course I feared the worst. I tried not to worry, but it certainly didn't help all the anxiety I was already dealing with. After a call to the Dr., I was told to just rest for a couple days and call back if the bleeding got heavier. Not much to put my mind at ease...

At 13 weeks I went in for an ultra sound with a specialist that tested for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome. I didn't really go in for this ultra sound with any thoughts other than a strong desire to just see my baby again (last ultra sound had been four weeks prior) and I wasn't scheduled for another appointment with the OB for 3 more weeks. I couldn't imagine waiting that long for reassurance so I saw this test as an opportunity to see that everything was okay.

A week later, my OB called with devastating news. "There is a strong possibility that your baby has Down Syndrome." I had markers in both the ultra sound and a blood test that was done. Needless to say we were in shock and devastated. How could this be happening after everything we had been through? The worst part...we wouldn't be able to find out for sure until an amniocentesis could be done 2 weeks later. So for two weeks I cried. We didn't share the news with anyone as we didn't know for sure yet and didn't want to force anyone on to our roller coaster ride. At 15 weeks I had the amnio done, which was a test in itself being that I had to sign a waiver stating I understood there was a slightly increased risk of miscarriage. Just what I didn't need.

During the amnio I very clearly saw on the screen that our little peanut was a boy. Then I waited 5 days for that phone call that had potential to drastically change our lives forever. But wait, it was GOOD news! I have never wished I could hug someone though the phone so much in my life. All chromosomes were right and our little boy did not have Down Syndrome!

At this point, the only thing I could really think was that for what remains to be an unknown reason, God REALLY wants to make sure that I appreciate this little miracle and know how lucky I am. Apparently two miscarriages weren't enough and I needed more of a reminder of just how much of a blessing a healthy baby is.

We then made a decision that we would name our baby whatever name meant "gift from God" so that we would always remember how blessed we are for being given this sweet gift of life. Matthew will be his first name and Leo will be his middle name, after his daddy, Marcos Leo Jr. and his Grandpa, Marcos Leo Sr. We won't be carrying on the Marcos name, but at least he will have the same initials.

I had a routine ultra sound at 19 weeks, and Matthew looks great! He is even measuring a little ahead, just like Abby did and everything looks as it should. He looks a lot like Abby already and had a lot of the same facial features. I can't wait to hold him in my arms.

I finally feel a little relief between appointments because I get that reassurance every time I feel him move. I still feel very nervous though. I thought for sure it would be better by now, but now it is hard to imagine how I would get through if something were happen at this point. It doesn't help that I know several people who have lost babies after 2o weeks, at which point you have to go through labor and the heartbreak of delivering a lifeless body. I try not to think about it, but it is a constant struggle and I think it will continue to be until I hold hear that cry and hold him in my arms.

My most current source of anxiety is the heparin. Dr. Couvaras' plan only calls for the the heparin injections until 20 weeks, which is today. I will continue them until my appointment with my OB next week and I assume she will have me stop. Not that I enjoy injecting a needle full of heparin into my stomach twice a day or what an ugly bruised battle ground it creates, but I am terrified to let go of what I believe has kept Matthew thriving up until this point. I think I will have to though and trust in the Lord's plan for our family.

Even with all the conflicting thoughts, I really am trying to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy, as it is the last time I will ever experience this miracle. Every kick is a reminder of how amazing it is that I have created and am carrying a human being in my womb. Maybe it is from the hormones, but at least once every day, I get tears in my eyes as I look at Abby and think what an amazing blessing she is.

I can't wait to meet this sweet baby boy inside me.

EASTER!!

We had a very nice day as a family on Easter. When Abby woke up we asked her if she heard the Easter Bunny the night before and she said yes. When asked what the Easter Bunny sounded like, she said "hop, hop, hop".

This was waiting for her outside her bedroom door. Of course she can't read so I had to read the notes to her, but she was so excited that the Easter Bunny left her notes.She followed a trail of eggs to where she found this....Then she headed down the stairs to find this.... She found this on the back door.... Then the hunt in the great outdoors started...."I saved the best for last. Time to find your Easter Basket!"She is sooooo into pretty dresses and lipstick right now! The Easter Bunny brought her Disney Princesses lip gloss and she wanted to put it on every 5 minutes all day long! Later in the afternoon we headed to Grammie and Grandpa's house for dinner. She loves spending time with Grammie and loves it when Grammie reads to her!

Hope you all had a happy and blessed Easter as we did.